A Bunch of Yesterday Post : Gradually and then all Become Sudden ( Another me, yasu and/in my brain)

when you are mad, you are gonna feel hungry, at least that what i  feel now. I was mad last night and until now i am still mad, pissed off … etc etc or any other term for that. I thought this anger is not gonna last longer but it is still inside of me. and then just turned in to .  …

Hungry, yes I am hungry now ….

yasu      :    you’re mad so it makes you hungry. but noi_chan, you always hungry even you don’t get mad …
noi         :    yes, and it’s more better than if it turn me into green, like HULK …
yasu      :    then answer me, do you have an anger management ….?
noi         :    i don’t think so, why you don’t want to see me turn green right, because if you do, you should join me to Far Far Away Kingdom, … …
yasu      :    no, thanks …

i am not in a good mood right now and when i am like this, there’s only one thing can make me better. Writing, like what i am doing right now. No matter what things i write and what this post is gonna be about eventually. I have no idea. But writing is always make me better. I mean i can put this, all of this inside my head and move it right here in this blog post and then i am gonna read it again over and over after i finished it. So it’s kinda therapy for me and the therapist is me, myself

i hate when everything is out of control, when something worked unlike it supposed to be, not following the schedule, the protocol and all the plan that i made. What happen today, it was like a train ran out from the rail. And there’s only chaos left if that’s happen

here’s what happen, i have one client. She is a female, 40 years old. And i am already make a good business relationship with her. We worked together already more than 3 years. And i trust her. no matter what happen, she always keep her words. I always think she is an amazing business woman. A woman in this business where dominated by man, her company survived all this year.

but then something happened, she got into a problem. A problem that make her unable to keep her payment to me. And because i am already trust her, i keep giving her another delay payment. Not only that, i think this is my fault, i let this personal and business mixed inside me and screwed me, my judgement and Don Vito Corleone is not gonna like it.

when she can’t pay her 1st payment, she told me the reason and because i think her reason is reasonable enough i gave her another chance, …  and now after her 4th, eventually i am already let her debt from only 45 millions into 132 millions now and i gave a date to my boss when i am gonna give him that money. when that day comes i didn’t get me money and my fault is i didn’t communicate well with my friend who responsible for the shipment.

i mixed somethig that should be personal into this business. At that time i had some misunderstanding with my friend and yes, we had some argument. I talk loud use a high tone like that. and the we just didn’t talk after that. And i just let him shipped the material without ask him whether my boss approve about this or not. Why? well that’s because i am not talking to him ne. now you all see where my fault was? …  and he also said the same thing  he said : i was wrong, i should asked you before i send materials.

nah eventually he was the only person among all of my shit team work who realized and want to say it. While there’s another person, more than one who also joined this miss_communication because of personal things. And the other person just like that,  didn’t say anything but one boring word : i dunno, i didn’t decide that … etc etc …

for me when they said that, they looked like they want to wash their hands and don’t want to involved into this anymore. But hey did they forget when they all raise their hands when this project went well with no 135 million debt left behind …? no. they didn’t forget, but they don’t want to remember.

now what happen is everyone put their finger on someone who should responsible for this, and that someone is me who decided, allowed and my friend who did the shipment.  Okay they were right ne, if you look at this case from any side, the fault is on me but ..

Whatever happened, it already happen. For me it just a bunch of yesterday, yes, oke i made mistake, but come on, right now i am not ask them to say : the fault is mine, but i only asked them to help me think about how to fix this, how to get that damn 132 million in one week because i remember i asked for their opinions before i decide it whatever i am already decided.. We should finish together for something we started together ne, even i am the leader, chief but still we’re supposed to be team ne, not like this acted like a rat on the sinking ship, cover their own ass by sayin a simple word I dunno

Oh Dae-Su on Old Boy was right when he said : Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone. and here i am weep alone in this sinking seep (even still with my friend, but he is on another sinking ship) try to figure out how to fix this. i can’t sleep tonight, all i can do now just sit here in front of my PC, post this lame rambling post while listening my playlist and nonstop calling

ya_san ..

ya_san ...

yasu    :   callin my name, you think that can solve your trouble? …
noi       :   no, but at least that make me calm, and maybe …
yasu    :   maybe what …?
noi       :   maybe you just come inside that box …
yasu    :   where, to your fake address …? no, that’s impossible …
noi       :   well oke i’ll stop this rambling, and let’s finish this crap 

yesterday i worked in a car, well let’s just say i was mobile. Writing or sign on something while you are inside a car and the road is not smooth is not easy. My handwriting is already disaster and writing it on mobile make it worst. I hope they can read it.

Because the fault is on me so i have to do something. What can i do but figure out how can i get all that money in one week. But thank God i have this list, the list on my yellow book. A list with names of who owe me money. Nah what i did today is i became a debt collector, the probie one.

I collect all of them no matter how much they owe me. 1,2,3 … 5 millions i collect all of them. Ieven collect 300,000 ne because 300,000 times 10 is 3,000,000. Give me my money now because i need some it now. And when i did this a debt collector probie activity, i remember Cicero. If you study law you must know him. Marcus Tullius Cicero , a Roman consul, lawyer, philosopher. Or maybe you read this book : Imperium by Robert Harris

nah on that book there’s a part where Cicero come to all the people who owe him a favour, collect all them one by one for the case he work on. Nah today i did the same thing with him but what i collect is not a favour but i collect money. But a debt collector is not an easy job. People always have so many reasons to avoid the payment.

Maybe this is why on every triad movies,  debt collector is a basic job that you have to do if you join a triad . and if you did great as a debt collector then there’s a possibility for you to get a promotion from brother Hung (the triad boss on HK movie).

even i didn’t manage to get 100% but at least i got some and this means i am temporary save. And today is not Friday, so i think this is not gonna be worst than this, everything is gonna be okay. this case also gave me a big lesson to learn  :

~ who is the real friend/mate that i can weep together and who is not, and whatever they do/act should not bother me.
~ and how important is for someone to have a plan B and last but not least is
~ how to stay calm and not dragged myself them who don’t know what they have to do but put a finger to blame somebody else.

i am a Javanese, so yes i will always find a light even the smallest one on my dark time and some open window no matter what, so yes, i may get fooled this time but hey i alsogot something to learn. that’s the important …

i woke up this morning @04:00 AM, and then i dragged my self in front of my PC to check whether all my Acid Black Cherry TOUR 『2012』 Pamphlet scan files uploaded on Photobucket or not. Yes, that pamphlet finally arrived with the other stuffs, and  …..

OMG

OMG

i never imagine if it gonna be that BIG, i mean hey it’s bigger than my scanner, ….

yasu      :    your scanner, really ….?
noi         :    ah ya, i mean my office scanner …
yasu      :    okay  ..
noi         :    how did you know about that  …?
yasu      :    i know  …

Photobucket last night was not good, i dunno why it just stop upload my files. FYI i use the paid account so i think paid account is gonna be faster than free account.

But the fact is everything depends on your net connection. If your net connection is fast so are not gonna get problems in uploading your files even the account you are using is the free one. Even yes of course there’s a different between paid and free account. The different is you don’t have a limit to upload files/photos in paid account.

If you ask me why did i use the paid account, this is because i uploaded too much my scans there. And they only give 3 GB (if i am not mistake) a month for a free account. Nah that time i scanned 3 magazines and all of it almost 4 GB. First when i get email from Photobucket that tell me if i am already upload more than 3 GB, i cancel upload and wait until next month. But then sometimes i forget where i put my scans and i lost it so i have to re_scan it again.

then finally decided to use the paid one. I don’t have limit, even it still slow like the free one, thanks to my lame net connection, but at least i don’t have to worry if i am gonna forget where the hell i save my scans. Honestly if you ask me the original scans from all magazine that i am already scan, i dunno, i don’t have it anymore. Ah ya maybe i should upload it on Mediafire ne, so i can give the link to download when somebody asked. … *make a note*

i’ll post that scan after this but for all of you who follow  me on Tumblr or my Facebook friends i am sure you all already see it. but now i think tumblr, twitter start to make me lazy to post something here in my pensive/blogs. And hey, that’s not good ne. So i think i what i have to do now is less tweet, talk on my tumblr and start to write my own movie and book review, rambling like what i do now  or maybe add my fangirl analysis about this man …

for me tumblr is only a tools that make me easier to post a photo here. I mean i don’t have to upload it again all i have to do just put the link in the image link and there you are it’s gonna make this blog post faster that if i have to wait for uploading the photo here or Photobucket.  Enough talking, nah there you are the postcards :

Version A

Version B

Version C

as you all know i never able to answer when did the first time i start to like yasu, because i don’t remember it. but if you ask me how did i love yasu, nah i can answer that. And the answer is …

Gradually and then all Become Sudden, that’s how i love yasu …

and here i am now stamp myself as his fangirl, the full time one even i am not brilliant enough to be his fangirl because he is just brilliant ne, and i don’t mind if he blown me away to everywhere as he wanted me to blow. Never, but …

noi       :   ya_san, can you blow me to Bhutan next time …?
yasu    :   hey noi_chan, the destination is random  ..
noi       :   ah ya i forgot about that …
yasu    :   and i am not a pilot btw so so you can’t choose …
noi       :   but you are, you are my pilot in this fandom spaceship named Acid Black Cherry …
yasu    :   what the …

~owari~

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